Do you have that kind of week when people are just totally put off by you?
In school, I think a professor was unconvinced that I needed to switch class schedule for one week to juggle some responsibilities, a.k.a. my source of living.
In a Viber group, I was egged on to contribute an idea and when I finally did, someone replied tersely at me, then ignored me.
In the office, I am changing my circle because I was put off by some behaviors I recently realized is quite a pattern already.
I feel like for being me, people find me unpalatable. And I am not just talking about this week, I noticed this is true for all my circles in the past years (grade school, OP days, college org days).
Am I really an acquired taste? Do I really give AF about people’s feelings towards me? I would be lying to say I do not want to be socially accepted. But as my friend puts it, maybe I am just too proud to admit my shortcomings.
On my bad days, I feel sorry for myself. On good days, I feel that what I do, what I say, are true manifestations of who I really am, so is that really a lost cause? But I resolve to make mysef better than yesterday so: I am a bit abrasive and I know I need to mellow down when I talk; I am straightforward and call things as it is and do not subscribe to sugar-coating but for the sake of people engineering, I am willing to try a different tack; I am super selective (when I was a kid, with food; in my teen years, on boys) but I will be more open-minded.
I may be unpalatable at times. But I will make sure that for people that matters to me, I would also sit well on their mouths.