Week 3 – Unpalatable

Do you have that kind of week when people are just totally put off by you?

In school, I think a professor was unconvinced that I needed to switch class schedule for one week to juggle some responsibilities, a.k.a. my source of living.

In a Viber group, I was egged on to contribute an idea and when I finally did, someone replied tersely at me, then ignored me.

In the office, I am changing my circle because I was put off by some behaviors I recently realized is quite a pattern already.

I feel like for being me, people find me unpalatable.  And I am not just talking about this week, I noticed this is true for all my circles in the past years (grade school, OP days, college org days).

Am I really an acquired taste?  Do I really give AF about people’s feelings towards me?  I would be lying to say I do not want to be socially accepted.  But as my friend puts it, maybe I am just too proud to admit my shortcomings.

On my bad days, I feel sorry for myself.  On good days, I feel that what I do, what I say, are true manifestations of who I really am, so is that really a lost cause?  But I resolve to make mysef better than yesterday so:  I am a bit abrasive and I know I need to mellow down when I talk; I am straightforward and call things as it is and do not subscribe to sugar-coating but for the sake of people engineering, I am willing to try a different tack; I am super selective (when I was a kid, with food; in my teen years, on boys) but I will be more open-minded.

I may be unpalatable at times.  But I will make sure that for people that matters to me, I would also sit well on their mouths.


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