Week 3 – Fifty Shades of Air Passengers

(Sept. 16-22, 2012)

I had a crazy week, um, well, maybe crazier than usual.

The first thing my boss told me last Monday was to go fly with them to Cagayan de Oro (Mindanao) the very next day. We were to have an inspection and discussion on our newest project.

Knowing I’m flying the next day, I quickly booked my flights before airline ticket cost raise through the roof and I’d get blasted by our accountant (again).  I was in Cagayan de Oro (CDO) for Tuesday and half of Wednesday.

This is an unscheduled flight, but nevertheless, I got my little baggage ready as I have a scheduled flight to Legazpi City, Albay later that week.  I flew to Legazpi on Friday and was back home on Saturday.

I got to Manila (NAIA) airport early, two hours too early, for both CDO and Legazpi flights.  For provincial airports, it’s safe to be there for only an hour before your flight, sometimes less. I have tried five minutes before scheduled departure.=)  I wouldn’t do that again… for some time.

So having so much time waiting for the flights the actual flying time, I while away the time reading.  I decided to open my iPad and download the e-book of Fifty Shades of Grey.  For the past two weeks, I’ve been reading a Candace Bushnell book. But it was too thick so I decided to leave it behind. I know the two books are world apart but hey, what’s an idle girl got to do?

I first heard about Fifty Shades of Grey by E. L. James earlier this year from TMZ, my favorite TV show. Kinky sex (in the book, it’s more aptly coined) is what this book is known for.  I remember Harvey Levin and his boys having fun time about it. I personally haven’t even googled it.  Not that interested.

I find the book, um, very surprising (blush).

Oh well, that’s life. Surprises lurks in the corner, leaps at you when you least expect.  Look at my schedule for week, it’s surprisingly got jampacked.

The people you meet in the airport hold little surprises themselves.  I just happy I’m reading the book from a tablet, otherwise, I would’t dare show people I’m reading.  In my head, I’m thinking what kind of people my co-flyers are – dominants, subsmissves, irritants, elusive… Haha!

So here now are my fifty shades of flyers:

Seat-snatchers.  Oh, this happened to me this week! The frustrating part was I couldn’t do anything about it, well, moral dictates that I don’t do anything.  On my way to CDO, there was a toddler sitting on my window seat (2nd row).  The dad was seated on the middle, his second kid is on the aisle seat.  He’s like, “Sorry, these are my kids.”  So I rolled my eyes and told him he should’ve taken care of it earlier.  How can I get mad, he’s a dad and that’s a kid on my seat?  On my way back from CDO, an old man was seated on my seat again (2nd row).  In my head, I’m like, “Come on!”  I told the flight attendant someone’s on my seat and the old man mumbled something that he’d like to go look at the window if that’s OK.  So I acquiesced, wordlessly.

Pissers.  They’ve got way too much in their bladders that they feel the need to disturb your personal space and gives you their ass, groin or side-hips each time they pass by.

Onlookers.  Those that never put their faces away from the windows… when all you see are clouds, some more clouds, oh a bit of the mountain, then clouds, oh, city, we’re landing.

Crying babies. Literally.

Sweet-smelling matron or pomade-drenched old dudes.  You can date them not by looking at them, but by smelling the product their using. One whiff is all it takes to know (Mmmm, circa 50).

Gay.  These are the group of happy people (usually teens or group of gay men) who travel in wanton abandon and carry the party with them, anywhere they go.  If I’m in a good mood, it’s nice to be around them.  If I’m having an early flight, I just want to gag them with their scarves or stupid animal hats.

Busy bodies.  These are the members of the fabled corporate rat-race who, as soon as the fasten seat belt signal is on and it’s safe to open electronic devices, immediately makes their time productive by typing reports, cross-checking some stuff.  Some read books.  Some just busy checking out photos of naked chicks in their phone.

The flirts.  The close proximity is undeniable. It’s a hell when you’re stuck with an ugly one, and a seventh heaven if you have a good catch!

Shutterbugs.  Camera clicks every other minute, documenting every step of their journey, some people just couldn’t get enough of their traveling moments.  Sometimes they even bug you and ask you to take their group photo.

Talkers.  They engage you in small talks that turn into grand inquisition and/or provocative discussions.

Sleepers.  The complete opposite of Talkers, they just sit there not doing anything, not moving, breathing steadily that  you find it hard to judge if they’re sleeping or paralyzed to their seat.

And me?  Well, I go from Busy Body (electronic device-whipping one) to Sleeper (mostly, Sleeper) to Onlooker in any given minute.  It depends on my ever-changing mood.=)

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